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Being back home and on familiar roads was helping my memory remarkably. I would test myself: could I remember the alarm code? What was the alarm password? Where was Sainsbury's? How would I get there by car? The feeling of being adrift in the world had gone long since but now in this new environment I feared that feeling would return. But I did feel at home, did I say that before?Jenny arrived. We hugged and kissed.I took her round the house, pointing out things that had triggered memories."This house is going to be very good for you," Jenny asserted, "It's a lovely old house; full of character." she said at length as we returned to the kitchen and I set myself to make a pot of tea. I sat happily opposite her at the oak kitchen table. I was home and one of my favourite women was with me for the weekend.The day passed in a flash. We spent most of it on the road driving between my flat and the house, bringing my personal effects, unloading and finding places for everything. It turned. She had a cancellation at 3:45pm. She just wanted to offer it to me if I thought I would like to come in.I said sure. Why not.We sat and she asked a couple questions. Then asked me about my original question as I had mentioned her disclaimer in the voicemail.I explained that somewhere in there, so long ago, was an early trigger for my hidden darkness. That little girl, and I, had suffered such horror and pain at 10 years old. She reassured me that she was much more qualified to deal with victims than perpetrators. Ahhhh, then I realized what she had meant all along.I only broke down a little bit in going over the details. She offered me a glass of water. I happily took this proffered drink. She let me go on as I related the details which seemed so fresh after 43 years in hiding.She knew where I had been a year ago. She knew we had covered many topics. Some hard. Some silly. But never as dark as this.We both were able to conclude this was no dream. Not some sudden variation of the.
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